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Carol with Bill and Susannah |
Who are the Seven Dwarves of the Menopause? Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful and Psycho, according to novelist Carol E Wyer whose latest book Grumpy Old Menopause caused quite a stir recently, following her appearance on Breakfast Television. The book follows the success of How to Murder Your Grumpy, her light hearted look at men and retirement. Carol, pictured above with presenters Bill and Susannah, has agreed to come on my blog today to talk about her writing life and, of course, the day she sat on that famous sofa.
You’re already a
successful author, but your book The Grumpy Old Menopause has thrown
you into the spotlight. What was it like to be on Breakfast Television?
It was such fun. I could wax lyrical about the whole
experience but that would take up far too much time. I knew I was going on a few weeks before the
date but I didn’t tell anyone and I didn’t dare allow myself to get too excited
because there is no guarantee you’ll be on air. It only takes one major news
story and you’ll be replaced.
I went up to Media City in Manchester the day before the
show and was met at the station by a driver who took me to the hotel. I was
then phoned by the BBC. They arranged for me to speak to a researcher later
that afternoon. It was at that point, I started to feel like a minor celebrity. The researcher went over my life and
background thoroughly, so Bill and Susannah would know what to ask me.
The next morning, I was met at the BBC reception and
escorted to the Green Room where I joined the other guests including June and
Leon from Gogglebox. They were very entertaining and we all chatted about
travel, cricket and television. There’s
food, drink and a large television screen so you can see the show. Half an hour
before I was due on, I was taken to makeup where a young lady performed
miracles with my face transforming it from a baggy, grey wrinkled mess to
something passable. From there, I was escorted to the sound technicians who
miked me up and then I waited outside the studio on a settee to be taken into
the studio.
The studio is very dark and surprisingly small. It’s
dominated by a raised platform on which is the large red sofa. I was aware of
cameras and people and wires and of course, the presenters. I can’t remember
much of what was going on, only the feeling that it was like being at a huge
friendly party and being introduced to some really nice guests. Bill and
Susannah couldn’t have been more welcoming or charming. They instantly relax
you and you forget what is going on. You’re focussed on what is being said and
the people interviewing you.
I was one of the last guests so I was allowed to sit outside
the studio until the show ended and have my photo taken with Bill.
Have you any more television appearances planned? Not at the
moment, but I did twenty-seven radio shows last year, most of them after the TV
appearance, and have another three lined up over the next couple of weeks. I’ve
even got myself a regular gig at BBC Radio Derby now as one of their ‘Loud
Mouths’ where I talk about a subject chosen for me an hour before the show.
Should be fun.
You clearly have a
strong sense of humour. Where does it come from and how has it helped you in
your life?
I blame my parents, the Dandy and Beano comics, seventies
television and Ken Dodd. My parents always tuned into comedy shows on the radio
and television and my earliest memories are of sitting listening to The Navy
Lark or The Clitheroe Kid as a small child. They installed a good sense of
humour into me. My dad had a very dry wit and was quite a tease.
Humour has seen me through dark days. I spent some
considerable time in hospital in my late teens and early twenties, and at one
point was paralysed. (Only temporarily
as it happened.) Humour saw me through that time. I wrote letters and stories
filled with amusing events that occurred in hospital and tried to make light of
the whole affair.
In Grumpy Old
Menopause you intersperse good advice with humour – or should I say humour with
good advice? Do you think this makes the book much easier to read?
I have a strong belief that humour helps educate people.
They are far more likely to remember something of they found it funny than not.
I learned that technique when I taught languages. Imagine, if you can, me
teaching a group of accountants to speak German using three puppets and a teddy
bear! It worked.
Your regular readers
are already familiar with ‘Mr Grumpy.’
How does your husband/partner feel about his reputation?
I think he secretly likes the fame. Seriously, he is very
good natured about it all. I have checked with him. He admits he is a grumpy
and may as well be famous for being one. He feels he is a role model for all
grumpies everywhere.
What sort of books do
you like to read when you are relaxing?
Thrillers. I love thrillers.
I like to try and guess who has committed the murder before halfway
through a book. If there’s a twist I haven’t spotted, I am extra delighted.
You’ve worked as a
teacher, linguist and physical trainer a well as running your own language
company. Did have time for writing earlier in your life?
I actually began writing in my twenties. My first stories
were set in Morocco where I lived and were for children. Titles included
Humphrey the Camel and the Dustbin Cats! I wrote a series of animal stories for
children in my thirties. They were used in schools to encourage and help young
children learn French and boasted titles like Hurrah for Hugo and Noir and
Blanc - Two Naughty Cats.
Following my appearance in Zest magazine and newspapers as a
‘success story’, I wrote a fitness guide filled with advice, recipes and
exercises for people to lose weight and get healthy. My timing was poor though
and a celebrity brought one at the same time as I was touting mine around
publishers.
What advice would you
give to someone who is still trying to get a book published?
Be patient! Ensure your work is very well edited. Follow
publisher’s guidelines to the letter. Make sure you keep writing while you are
waiting to hear from publishers as it can take months to get a response. Build
up a social platform online. Persevere. Don’t give up.
Do you have a
favourite childhood book?
I read all of the Famous Five and Secret Seven Books. Loved
them all. I think I still have them in a box in the shed. Maybe I should get
them back out.
We know you wouldn’t
change your Mr Grumpy for the world, but what famous person would you like to
spend the day with?
It would have to be a comedian. There are so many I would
like to meet. If I had to choose it would be either Rowan Atkinson or Lee Mack.
I probably would spend the day in stitches with either of them. Rowan
Atkinson’s face makes me laugh and I love Lee Mack’s sense of humour. I’d like
to spend the day with Jon Richardson too, but I’m sure that would only
encourage me to behave very badly as I attempted to flirt with him in a highly
embarrassing manner.
Finally – can you tell
us about your next book?
I’ve got some short stories coming out next. They will
surprise my readers as some are very dark revealing a hidden side to my
personality. After that, I have a new light-hearted novel set at a Hospital
radio station that involves a couple of interesting presenters, some awkward
challenges and a scary moment. And, my
much awaited third Amanda Wilson novel should appear this year. I’ve been
promising to release it for over a year and held it back for long enough.
If you want to know more about Carol's books or see a clip of the show, go to http://www.carolewyer.co.uk/