Today I'm thinking of Ben-Brooks Dutton whose blog Life as a Widower has reached out to many thousands of bereaved people this year.
Let's hope he and his son find peace and happiness in 2014
Here is an excerpt from a post I wrote in January 2013
'We lose ourselves in talking about happiness but we don't allow ourselves to talk about loss...'
So says Ben-Brooks Dutton whose wife Desreen was knocked down and killed two months ago. Ben's new blog 'Life as a Widower' is featured in Today's 'Times 2' supplement giving an insight to the the lives of young people who have turned to blogging to deal with their grief.
A lot has been written about blogging in the last few months : Why do we do it? Why has it become so popular? Is it a form of journalism or just a waste of time? The answer to me is simple - if it's right for you, do it.
When I was in my twenties, I saw an old friend standing on his own on the far side of the town square. I deliberately crossed over to speak to him, for he and his wife had just suffered a terrible loss: their full-term baby had been born dead. After I had offered my condolences he said: 'You're the first person who has had the courage to speak to me today - everyone else has looked the other way.'
I have never forgotten that conversation. The truth is that in Britain we've never learnt how to openly discuss our grief. The Times quotes yet another heartbreaking story: Alice Olins started a blog after her son, Bear Hamilton Pullen, died in her womb. 'My body did the cruellest thing possible - it pulled the plug on my baby's life...' she says.
When the young Princes William and Harry were taken to matins on the morning after their mother died, the pain on their faces was palpable. They should have been allowed to stay at home and sob, but the 'stiff upper lip' attitude of our royal family denied their expression of their grief.
My own blog, named after the island where I was born ( but sadly no longer live) reflects my crazy sense of humour, but I've charted some personal tragedies, too.
So my message today is - keep on blogging - you never know who you might reach.
A lot has been written about blogging in the last few months : Why do we do it? Why has it become so popular? Is it a form of journalism or just a waste of time? The answer to me is simple - if it's right for you, do it.
When I was in my twenties, I saw an old friend standing on his own on the far side of the town square. I deliberately crossed over to speak to him, for he and his wife had just suffered a terrible loss: their full-term baby had been born dead. After I had offered my condolences he said: 'You're the first person who has had the courage to speak to me today - everyone else has looked the other way.'
I have never forgotten that conversation. The truth is that in Britain we've never learnt how to openly discuss our grief. The Times quotes yet another heartbreaking story: Alice Olins started a blog after her son, Bear Hamilton Pullen, died in her womb. 'My body did the cruellest thing possible - it pulled the plug on my baby's life...' she says.
When the young Princes William and Harry were taken to matins on the morning after their mother died, the pain on their faces was palpable. They should have been allowed to stay at home and sob, but the 'stiff upper lip' attitude of our royal family denied their expression of their grief.
My own blog, named after the island where I was born ( but sadly no longer live) reflects my crazy sense of humour, but I've charted some personal tragedies, too.
So my message today is - keep on blogging - you never know who you might reach.
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL
http://lifeasawidower.com/
2 comments:
I distinctly remember my oldest son, about 6 at the time, trying to maintain a stiff upper lip when his Granddad died. It was heart breaking to see. Obviously, I cuddled him and told him it was okay to show what he really felt. But it made me all the more sadder that even at such a young age he was under the impression that controlling his emotions was the right thing to do. Goodness knows where he got that message from.
On a more positive note, have a lovely New Year, Marilyn x
Thanks, Suzie - so glad to hear your thoughts on such an emotive subjects. Lucky sons to have you as a Mum :)
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